Dinner over the kitchen sink – It's a date!!!!

You all know the movie: after watching her successfully coordinate a beautiful wedding, we see Jennifer Lopez’s character return to her very nice (and immaculately clean – obviously she does not have children) apartment where she prepares a rather elegant meal for herself which she eats on her “fine” china by candle light with a very nice glass of wine. She then proceeds to vacuum her draperies (which have no dust on them anyway) and watch TV. She is a wonderful picture of a single woman full of grace and elegance who has an obvious sense of style AND cleanliness. Let me just state right here that I am the complete polar opposite of what we see in these opening scenes from The Wedding Planner. As a matter of fact, I believe I have truly mastered the art of eating a meal while not dirtying anything more than a fork or spoon!!

It’s not really my desire to eat a meal as quickly as I can while standing at the kitchen sink… it just happens! It’s on those rare occasions when I have no children in the house and all is peaceful and quiet (but not clean as it is in my movie nemesis). It is difficult to cook for just one, and what’s the point in dirtying a pot or pan causing something else in the house to need cleaning? There are always plenty of left overs in the fridge that simply need to be microwaved for heat and then consumed. This does not require either fine china, or even the plastic child-proof plates that take up residence in my cabinets. I have often wondered what it must look like to a passerby were they to glance into my kitchen window on one of these evenings to see me inhaling my meal while standing over the kitchen sink (which they, of course, would not know being they are outside looking in), however I have long ago stopped worrying about what others think in this regard. The simple fact is that this is a very convenient way for me to eat my dinner on the nights I am alone and quickly move on to other more important things like organizing one of the messes on my dresser or foyer cabinet, or even writing a blog entry. Okay, in all honesty I do it when the kids are there sometimes, too. The goal on those nights is for me to finish my meal quickly so I can wash the dishes and have time to play with them once they are done. What can I say? The kitchen sink has become my dining room table.

I have decided that sitting at the dinner table to eat a meal alone is highly over rated, and I am sure that I am expensing more calories by standing and eating than my lovely counter-part is by sitting and quietly mouse-biting her perfectly planned meal. Who says you have to sit down, relax and enjoy your meal when there are so many other things that require attention: watering the plants, locking up the dust bunnies that have escaped from the garage, or procrastinating on something really important like Christmas decorating!!!??

It has crossed my mind a time or two, “What ever will I do if, by some miracle like the parting of the Red Sea, I should get asked out by a nice fellow to a fancy dinner??? Will I even remember how to act at an event such as this? How on Earth would I be able to eat my dinner without a kitchen sink at the table???” Should I steal one from my daughters “Barbie Dream House” and stick it in my purse for comfort and ease of mind? (hhmm.. I guess I would have to buy my daughter a Barbie Dream House first!) For what equates to a fraction of a second I panic at the thought, but then it is quickly gone when reality sets in.

Yes, I have browsed the profiles on a well-known dating site having decided that I might consider actually going on a date should a decent requestor present himself. Hey, it could happen, after all I am a rather charming and delightful person to be around! Just ask my friends (ask me which friends you can ask, first)! Of course, after perusing many profiles, I realize that morals and values are not high on everyone’s list of desired traits. The thing is, I am finding there is much more entertainment value in just reading profiles then there is in actually dating (well, okay, I haven’t been on a date in going on three years so I am not sure I remember if they are fun or not, but remember I do have a relationship with my kitchen sink and we have some rather nice meals together)!

What I have learned about today’s single male is that they are looking for someone who: “is beautiful”; “eats and lives a healthy lifestyle”; “has NO BAGGAGE”; “likes to travel”; and “likes to laugh”. Personally I have never met a person who didn’t like to laugh, so I am not sure what the purpose of that statement is. Maybe the men who state this just tell really bad jokes that simply aren’t funny and no woman has had the heart to tell them their jokes stink? YIKES!!! Now, if you are looking for someone who likes to travel, how can you possibly expect them to have “no baggage”?? I mean, come on fellas, how’s a girl supposed to pack all of her boots and other various accessories??? Is it a “healthy lifestyle” to eat over the kitchen sink? (insert pensive look here)…. I am thinking yes because as soon as I am done eating, I can clean the dishes and wash my hands!!! That's healthy!!!

I have been asked many times by both men and women friends why I am still single and the statement “isn’t there a nice single man in your church you can date?” generally follows the question of why am I still single. Since I am not a man of a particular age, I cannot answer for them, but I do know that I am neither desperate nor lonely, so I don’t jump at the first Tom, Rick or Jerry who says, “Hey baby. Here’s my e-mail address. Let’s connect!” As a tired single mom, I have my kids to think about and anyone I bring into my life, I am also bringing into theirs. Even if it’s someone I would not introduce to them for many, many months; the person who comes into my life still has an effect on me and my emotions, which in turn affects my children. What I can honestly answer when people ask me why I remain single is that I haven’t found someone who makes me desire to not be single. Someone who will make me desire to leave the comfort of dinner over the kitchen sink to have quiet conversation over a cloth covered table with dishes that clink when they touch (did I mention that I broke two of my ceramic plates the week of Thanksgiving? Another reason not to bother with “fine” china!)

Matthew 7:7-8 states “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” Ask, seek and find. If we ask and seek for the things of Heaven, then we will find those things here on earth. I don’t think simply stating the superficial “make him or her beautiful” is what God had in mind here. We are to ask for and seek things that are not of this world in order to find the things that the Father desires for us while we are still in this world. For some of us it’s going to take a lot of asking and seeking before our desires are in line with the desires the Father has for us in order for us to find. We need to let go of the need for someone who “likes to travel” and “has no baggage” in order for God to bless us with someone who loves to transcend the Heavenly realms carrying battle ready armor (God’s Word).

Philippians 4:6-7 states “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” As long as we continue to make our requests known to God, we will find peace, and that peace is what allows us to move through our life situations we may not desire to be in. When we pray about our circumstances and share the desires of our hearts with the Father, He fills our hearts and minds with a peace that cannot come from being partnered with another human being. I am not anxious about being single, or about having my dinners over the kitchen sink because my God in Heaven has promised to “never leave me or forsake me”, which means I have a kitchen sink dinner partner every day for the rest of my life here on Earth, and that partner already thinks I am the most beautiful thing He’s ever seen. He helps me carry my baggage, regardless of how heavy or light it might be and He’s willing to travel with me, or stay home and have another simple, reheated, left-over meal be it at the kitchen table, or over the kitchen sink. His only desire of me is that I communicate with Him and share my thoughts, feelings and deepest desires. It’s a match made in Heaven.

Hebrews 5:7 “During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with fervent cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission.”