The Pop-Up Road Stand

Another Valentine’s Day has come and gone. I am sitting here in my comfy chair ignoring the blog post I started on December 31^st that I haven’t finished in order to write what is on my mind this evening (talk about procrastination).

I found myself chuckling as I drove to the gym this evening. There on the corner across the street from my gym was not one, but TWO pop-up road stands selling flowers and stuffed toys to those men who didn’t plan in advance. Sorry fellas but let’s face it, generally speaking it is not a woman who is last minute shopping on Valentine’s Day. Admittedly, I would probably be one of the few women in the world who would be shopping on Valentine’s Day in order to have a little something for that someone special however for the time being, we will set my short comings aside and deal with the topic that is really on my mind this evening!

Yes, I was chuckling, and sadly shaking my head from side to side as I watched the scene from my car while waiting for the light to turn green. At the stand were four or five men frantically picking out something which they clearly put no thought into, in order to stay out of the dog house (click)). Sadly, I feel strongly that the whole point of Valentine’s Day is lost not just on these men, but on the women for whom the thoughtless gifts are being purchased! Isn’t the whole point geared towards telling your someone special, “Hey, you’re someone special!!”?? I don’t know, perhaps my old-fashioned values are clouding my judgment here… or it’s just a lack of sleep given the hour I am sitting here writing this post.

My idea of a relationship is outdated by today’s standard, which probably explains one of the reasons why I have remained single for so long. In my mind, the man with whom I am in a relationship shouldn’t have to panic at the thought of bringing home a gift on one particular day of the year (although he should know how to hold a door open for me). Isn’t the whole point of being in a relationship with another person to be expressing your love, admiration, respect, joy, etc. of being with that person every day throughout the year? Would it not have more meaning if the person you are with surprised you with a little something (a card, flowers, dinner, etc.) on some random day during the year? This gesture would certainly be more heartfelt, which is exactly what I believe is the missing piece (or peace) in the average relationship today. We have gotten away from really caring about one another and it has become nothing more than a status to post on your FB page. In today’s day and age of social media and move, move move, the attitude is “just jump back into the saddle as fast as you can” at the end of any relationship, leaving fewer people truly emotionally healthy when they enter a relationship. The end result is that you and the person you are with are simply going through the motions because you just don’t want to be alone. Well listen up, I have a small secret to share with all of you …

From one tired single mom to those of you listening – being single is NOT a disease to abhor, but rather a lifestyle to embrace while you can!! In 1 Corinthians 7:32-35, Paul talks to the church about singleness vs. the married life and he states: “³² I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. ³³ But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— ³⁴ and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. ³⁵ I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.” Um, hello, are you listening?? If you are single, you have time to just rest in the comfort of the loving arms of your Father who created you! No man (or woman) is ever going to love you in the same way as your Father in Heaven does. And you want to know something else? God will never need to stand at the pop-up “Duh-I-didn’t-plan-ahead-for-V-DAY” stand to buy you flowers. He makes sure they come into bloom just for you every year.... Ladies, are YOU listening?? Singleness truly is a blessing to be grasped with joy. I mean, you don’t have anyone else’s things to pick up around the house. You don’t have to fight over the remote control, AND you only have to visit one family on the holidays!! WOW, what a blessing!!!

Jesus is God’s ultimate Valentine’s gift to you and is the perfect example of sacrificial love (i.e. dying to self). He gave up His life for those that he loved – that’s you and me, baby!! Ephesians 5:1-2 states ¹ “Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children ² and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” Ephesians goes on to state in vs. 25-33 ²⁵ “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶ to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷ and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. ²⁸ In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— ³⁰ for we are members of his body. ³¹ “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”³² This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. ³³ However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” In all honesty, singleness sounds like a lot less work!!

Let’s set aside the word “husband” and” wife” for a moment. The scripture still applies. In layman’s terms - treat each other the way you want to be treated (Um, “do unto others” sounds familiar, no?). Men, do you want her to respect you? Then act in a way deserving of respect. Ladies, do you want his love? Then behave in a loving and respectful way towards him. I believe that if people can grasp those two little concepts – love one another as Christ does us, and show each other respect – then perhaps the need to rush around at 5:03 pm on Valentine’s Day to stand in line at Walgreens, or the pop-up road stand, to buy some “I-didn’t-put-any-thought-into-this-gift” gift would no longer be necessary, and my hunch is more relationships would have a deeper connection.

By the way, I DID plan in advance for MY Valentines (my 9 year old son and my 6 year old daughter) and as a result received tons of hugs and kisses, as well as an evening free of any bickering. I gotta say, it was a great day!!

1 Corinthians 13:4-13 ^"4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹ For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰ but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. ¹¹ When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. ¹² For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

¹³ And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."